Same boat, same river... same rapids.

It is actually hurting to write this.
I'm leaving Edinburgh.



It's real. The flight is booked. I. Am. Leaving.
Oh, this is ending in tears.

I've cried every day since Friday.
Friday was when the warning signs appeared.
I was waiting on a loan from Sallie Mae (who is the devil) and found out that they wouldn't accept
my co-signer. So I tried to find another.
I spent the weekend praying to be able to stay. I attended a fireside in Dunfermline on Saturday night and one of the speakers told this story that really struck home to me. He was caught between a rock and a hard place and it worked out.
I hoped it would work out for me.

Sunday I met with my Bishop and got a blessing. I was told that I knew what to do.
I didn't feel like I did at all!
Oh, and the panic attacks came back. Joy.
Back to soup twice a day and miserable mornings.
Sunday I held on to hope. I spent the day with friends and I traveled around my beautiful city. No way could Heavenly Father want me to leave here.
Monday morning was rough. Just like November all over again.
I pulled myself out of bed and spent the day applying for jobs here and in the US. I found a great one here.

I went to my church stuff, then spent a couple hours converting my friend to White Collar.
Edinburgh is being hit by a low pressure storm that used to be a hurricane. I walked home in fierce winds with the clouds whipping past the full moon. Gorgeous.
At home, I found out my other co-signer couldn't do it.
No money. No way to stay.

I cried.
I'm skint. I can't even afford to pay for the Tier 1 visa application.
So it's home I go. Back to Idaho.
Hopefully not for long.
I'm making a Six-Month Plan and will continue the job hunt from Sugar.
The blog will continue there too.
I can find temporary work there.
Really not looking forward to being uninsured, though.
However... I must go. I've prayed about it and this is the Lord's will.

I have a month left and a bus pass. This will be fun!

There will be good things to come. I need to have faith that the path will be strewn with roses when I look back, having made it through the thorns.

So, to help me feel better, here is a list of good things about moving home:
1) W&J - the best nephews in the world.
2) No rent.
3) Puck - the best car in the world. He has new tires.
4) There is a local library. YAY!
5) Longer days in winter.
6) I can watch US TV shows in real time (yay for Amazing Race, Criminal Minds, White Collar, NCIS, Castle and Vampire Diaries).
7) PBS = I can still get my British fix.
8) Being in the US for Thanksgiving for the first time in 3 years.

Who knows where the next adventure will take me. I know that one day I will look back and see why this had to happen.

Yet...I'll be back, Edinburgh. I love you too much to stay away for long.