A blessing or a curse.

It's been a tough week. I mean in a "don't want to get out of bed" way.
Tuesday I was going to call a place I had worked a few summers ago, and ask if they were hiring.
However, this was defeated by the need to spend the night with my nephew when it looked like his little brother might be coming!
False alarm, luckily. Whew.

So I called on Wednesday and left a message - no return call. Still no return call! Which hurts a bit.
Then I ran into one of my friends from my previous job and she said "I thought you would be working tonight." I just replied, "No." What else could I say? So then I felt guilty and THEN I had a dream about that job. Basically, I had to go back (for some reason) and everyone at work was asking me where I'd been. I woke up with feelings of shame, bitterness, and sadness. Which pretty much lasted the rest of the week. On Friday I decided to apply for some work in a local bookstore. Which got me thinking about my past working career. So, by Saturday I was convinced that I would never find a job, never find love and that my life was doomed to failure.
I like to have plans, to know what I'm doing, where I'm going... and obviously this is not the situation right now in my life. That is really starting to bug me.

I haven't been able to sleep either at night, even without the weird dreams. So... yep life not going all that great.

Which meant that Saturday I stayed in bed. I didn't want to move. I actually didn't until later that day. And then I decided - NO MORE!
So today I fasted. I fasted for help and strength to make those necessary changes in my life... so that I will use this "desert" time for improvement.

I even made a list of things to do! It's only a few items... not going to overdo. But I need to start trying and showing the Lord I'm willing to work at it.

Church today really helped. Hearing testimonies always strengthens mine. I'm trying to overcome some bitterness. I hope to be able to do it.
I also got to watch my nephew at church - so tiring but so much fun! I adore him. He is so cute and funny and lovable.
We also had only two meetings as the toilets stopped working. So lots of parents running kids home.

Rain and lots of rain has led to flooding around the river! YAY for rain!
That's one good thing.
Also, Bolt is awesome.
Well, my peeps, it's time for dinner.

Oh, and something to cheer you up!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8DFwb3zlDk

And no, I don't know why I have a thing for sheep.
Cheers!

PS: If any computer experts out there... I'm trying to change the email address for this blog. Please help!