Of cats, nephews, and universities.

I'm trying to type this while Daisy (the cat), lays in my lap, has her paws around my right arm and is getting fur all over my shirt. Ow! And gently clawing me because my arm keeps moving. Aww, and then she purrs. It makes up for the hassle. Why she can't lay on my left arm is the mystery.

This past week has brought some unexpected and "wow" experiences.
It really started on Tuesday.

Anyway, I have a "job" with a local temp agency and they asked me to work at a local processing plant. It involved potatoes... yes, you didn't expect POTATOES! ha ha.

Tuesday was spent in a big factory (I couldn't help thinking it would be ideal for a Highlander fight) with other people in white shirts, hair nets, helmets, safety glasses and ear plugs. We packaged potato chips/crisps for Brannigan's Pub. Some of the supervisors wore lab coats... and looked like scientists.

Despite working for eight hours with only water to drink (I'd had breakfast, but forgot to bring lunch), it felt good to work. I miss it. And I keep kicking myself over losing my previous job. I'm tempted to apply again, but I doubt they would hire me back.
So I came home smelling like dehydrated potatoes and was promptly greeted by my adorable nephew. That made the whole day worth it. I also don't want to eat potato chips for a long time.

Wednesday was the big day this week... and it turned out bigger than anticipated.
Wednesday morning my newest little nephew was born! I have two now!
I'll call him J (no names in this blog, just initials).
J is a bit early, so he had some lung troubles and had to be on oxygen for a bit in NICU. At least this delivery went a lot smoother than his brother, W's, delivery last time. Although a student nurse fainted... but my bro really needs to tell that story.
We watched W (my nephew) that day and I thought how this little boy's life is about to change...and it will be fun to see.

Then the other shocking thing happened. With me, mum, and C (my other bro) in the living and W entertaining us, I decided to check my email.
There was an email from Edinburgh Napier with the word "Offer" in the title.
I did not want to open it.

I clicked on it.

I had been accepted to Napier! I get to go back to Edinburgh! I clapped. We all clapped. I yelled. My voice rose a couple decibels... that's when W started crying. So I scooped my little nephew up in my arms and comforted him until he calmed down. Maybe he's sad to see me leave. That is a day I cannot contemplate right now.

No word from the other universities. There was a scholarship I could apply for at Napier but the deadline was last Friday... too late. So it may change, if one of the other unis offers me a scholarship, I might have to go there.
I spent Thursday applying for scholarships. Including an hour filling out a stupid survey to get entered into a contest. This is what really boils my blood! If you are a US student and want a big scholarship to a foreign school, you have to apply a year in advance... something I couldn't do. Now if I want that same amount of money, it's all a contest! Like, "Get rid of your flashcards the best way." "Make a cake with our logo!" How is this academically fair? It's not. Augh.

Then the second problem arose. I read the letter again.
Napier won't send me a CAS letter until I pay them £3000. No CAS letter = no visa. Surprisingly, I don't have that much money lying around. In fact, I have about $10 to my name. And $6000 in USD is a tad too much to borrow from someone. So that means a credit card, which means more debt and... augh.
Also figuring into this is a search for accommodation. I am getting too old to live with people. I decided last year when I lived in my uni flat in Edinburgh. I figure if I'm thinking "I wish I lived alone" or "I may kill my flatmate," at least once a day, that is a sign I need to have my own place.
I would accept en suite, like in Sheffield. I loved living there. I don't mind sharing a kitchen. Sharing the bathroom is the deal breaker. However, I can't find any en suite accommodation from Napier. And, to go on a tangent here, do you know how difficult it is to spell "accommodation?!"
There is Unite Student Accommodation, but, I don't have a good feeling about it and, while I can't find reviews of any their Edinburgh offerings, what I am finding of their other sites is not boosting my opinion. Sigh.

So my life feels secure and yet up in the air.

Then, Wednesday night, I watched this Mormon Message on YouTube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nczw6xHJ0I&playnext_from=TL&videos=Xo3CMCrySN4&feature=sub

This was exactly what I needed to hear. I cried, then read the talk and cried even more. "Good things are to come" I keep telling myself. I feel this is true.
Yet, maybe I don't have enough faith, because the doubt sets in. As C.S Lewis said, "We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be."

It's an issue I've had for a long time. We talk as though turning our lives over to God is easy. Problems solved! It's not. This does not absolve me from making decisions. I have not found that saying this, meaning this, makes life easier or simpler. Yes, it is better. But, I still have to use my brain. I think I fail a lot at doing what God wants me to. I am much like the Children of Israel. Something goes wrong and I start complaining.

My life certainly hasn't gone on the path I thought it would. By now I'm supposed to be married, with a couple kids, living in Idaho or Montana. I never wanted to live anywhere else.
Instead, I'm single and plotting how to get back to a city I adore and would love to live in for the rest of my life. A city 6,000 miles away. With no idea what happens next. It's been worth it. I wouldn't change my life so far. It's been a great adventure.

Yet, I worry that I won't stay close to my nephews. I worry that I won't be able to hold a job once I'm done with school. I worry about money and about how to make ends meet. I worry about my family.
I worry.
And yet I still know it's going to be all right, even though I doubt and wonder what that means.
Maybe I'll just hope and put lots of prayer in.

Now Daisy has abandoned my lap, because my arm was moving too much. Also, possibly, because I couldn't pet her and type at the same time.
There are no answers now. There is church in a few hours. So, I'll send this off into the universe...
Good night.