But, I digress.
Anyway, I used to love the story of Robin Hood. I read books, watched movies, and dreamed of being Maid Marion. On the BLT, we visited Sherwood Forest and the Major Oak. Loved it!
When I lived in Sheffield, I even visited Little John's grave site. Which was awesome.
So when I heard they were making a new version, I was a bit excited. Prince of Thieves wasn't horribly bad, but not great.
Then I heard they had cast Russell Crowe. Slight disappointment. I'm not a fan of Russell's. It is just that... I don't think he's hot. Or that great of an actor... and I haven't really seen any of his work. Even the much lauded Gladiator. No desire to see it. Which is why I'm forever grateful that he dropped out of Australia and Hugh Jackman got the role. (A great and beautiful film, btw, I highly recommend it.)
So I sat there with my Milk Duds and decided to enjoy it. A Medieval film!
First off... loved the titles with the parchment and the script. Little bubbles of happiness for me.
Then we started the film. Something about kids in masks who rob people. I was already lost.
Then we go to Robin... who is fighting in the Crusades. I am so tired of Robin fighting in the Crusades. Why not put Robin where he belongs? In the forest!
So there's have a battle (very cool scenes) and the King dies... blah blah blah...
And then Robin gets a sword and finds words on it. Words in English...in perfect English. Um... ahem...back then it would have been in Latin. English was the language of the common people. No way a knight would it engraved on a sword. Not until my dear Chaucer was much even written in it. Trust me, I've looked at enough documents from that time period. No English. I might have accepted this better had they used Middle or Old English spelling! Alas, the anachronisms abounded in this film.
A couple of examples (besides the writing in English):
Glass tankards were not used back then. Glass tankards may not have existed at that point.
Some of the songs sounded rather modern to me. Nice use of a lute, though.
While I LOVED the aerial scenes of my beloved Britain, the white horse they showed would not have existed back then. I thought it might have been the White Horse of Kilburn, which I've seen, but that's in North Yorkshire and was created in 1857. I checked. I was right. Loss of points on that one.
Now, I am not an expert on Medieval weaponry and warfare. However, I know boats like those used by the French to land did not exist for hundreds of years. A little too D-day.
And an aside, Russel Crowe kept talking in interviews about how they were investigating the beginnings of Robin Hood. Dear Russell, you are 45 years old! That's almost to the end of the life- expectancy for a Medieval man. This bothers me.
What did I like?
The costumes were beautiful.
Elinor of Aquitaine was great.
Everyone that was French actually had a French accent.
Cate Blanchett was quite good as Marian.
The man who played Little John was Scottish and did pretty good.
Matthew MacFadyen was great as the Sheriff. The man revealed more of the character in his five minutes onscreen than Crowe did in the whole film.
I liked Walter of Loxley.
Friar Tuck was very good. I wish we'd had more time with him.
The battle scenes were quite good.
What didn't I like?
The whole story felt bland. Just meh. I actually started checking my watch to see how much longer the film would last. This is always a bad sign.
It rather bothered me that Robin went from pretending to be a nobleman to leading the army.
No background was given on Robin. Yes, we know what happened when he was six. How about the 40 years in between? Same with Godfrey... who the heck was he?
It really bothered me that the boys of the forest just suddenly appeared to help and had horses with saddles and KNEW how to ride them! And fight soldiers like skilled assassins.
Then the scene which pretty much ruined it for me: Marian, in full battle gear, having taught herself how to sword fight on horse, sees Godfrey and charges toward him. Yes! I'm thinking, "If she kills him, this would be awesome." After all, he killed her husband and her father-in-law.
Instead, she falls off her horse and suddenly cannot move. Godfrey is about to kill her! She's just laying there in the water, sputtering. Robin sees and shouts "No!" (My first thought was of the scene in Last of the Mohicans where Nathanial sees Cora with a knife at her throat and screams a silent "No!" and runs to rescue her. Similar to this one, only the Mohicans scene was superior in every way. It's probably not a good sign that I'm thinking of another film during the film!)
Anyway, as Robin fights Godfrey, Marian just lays there. And just lays there.
I'm not sure why.
Then Robin kills Godfrey (boo) and finds Marian, still laying there, but not drowned. He pulls off her helmet and they kiss... while blood runs down his face and onto hers. Eww. Ewww. Ewwww!
The gross kiss aside... my question is: what the heck happened to Marian?!
She spends the movie this strong, able woman who runs a fief, fends off a rapist, rescues a village and tames forest boys and then suddenly goes limp and has to be rescued by a man.
Maybe it's because I'm single and a woman, but I wish we'd go past this trope of the usually-capable- but-suddenly-helpless female. Give the girl a spine! Augh!
And then the film ends with King John refusing to sign the Magna Carta and bizarrely declaring Robin an outlaw for a reason he wasn't aware of until the script told him. No cool forest scenes. Just a whole movie all ready-made for a sequel.
I left disappointed.
I may see it again. If only for Matthew's scenes. Loved him.
So where was MY Robin Hood? The Robin who lived in the forest and hunted the Sheriff of Nottingham and loved Marian? I didn't see that in this film. I wanted the Robin Hood of my childhood, instead I got a modern day action film.
If you want a brilliant story about Robin Hood, I suggest The Outlaws of Sherwood by Robin McKinley. Wonderful book. Highly recommended by me. Faithful to the story of Robin with lots of wonderful characters and brilliant writing.
Or just stick with the Disney version! Great music and a wonderful plot, plus, Peter Ustinov... who is brilliant!
Well, it's almost 6am. I haven't been able to sleep the last couple nights. So I'm going to try to catch a couple hours. More updates on life in general coming...
Until then, good night.
Oh, and one more thing...
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